The Complete Guide to Washing the Pots

And Getting Invited to Dinner More Often

Dec 13, 2023

I HAVE NEVER met anyone who likes washing pots.

But I find it restorative and relaxing and a great way to meet my need for control and certainty in a runaway world.

It puts me in a state of deep immersion characterised by a sense of effortless involvement, focus and enjoyment. I’m deadly serious! But it’s only because I’ve learned to do it well. And you can too.

It’s a handy thing to love washing up because when you do it for other people, they think you’re doing it out of the goodness of your heart when, secretly, it’s all about you.

Whether you’re an eager enthusiast or an ensnared chore-doer, join me for this short treatise on pot washing and, I promise, you’ll do yourself proud every time and be the person everybody wants to invite for dinner.

Come on then! Those pots won’t wash themselves!

Washing up crimes

There is no skill without error, which is where we’ll begin.

To give ourselves a good idea of what washing pots well looks like, let’s first get clear on what washing pots badly looks like. If you only have time to read one section, you’ll go a long way towards pot washing perfection simply by avoiding these schoolboy misdemeanours.

The saboteur. Your sink is out of action because it’s a mass grave for all your dirty dishes. You can’t wash a thing and you’ve sabotaged yourself before you’ve even got going.

The wasteman. Washing pots under a running tap in an unplugged sink means you can’t pre-soak anything, which is key to washing up well. Even if there’s nothing to pre-soak, you’re using water and probably fuel to heat the water unnecessarily and incurring needless bills you eejit!

The false economist. Okay, so the plug’s in and the sink’s full. But you’re using cold water to save on energy costs. Big mistake. You’re missing out on the superior cleaning power of hot water.

The tight arse. Hurrah! You’ve got a sink full of piping hot water. But…you’re not using washing up liquid because you’re trying to scrimp. Futile. You can’t clean pots well without soapy water.

The shared bather. Credit where it’s due, you’ve got hot and soapy water in the sink. But you’ve washed so many pots now that the water’s dirty and you’re still going. Grimy water will only undermine your work.

The half-a-jobber. You’ve washed all the pots and they look practically new. Ten points. But you haven’t cleared the gunk from the plughole or wiped down the sink afterwards. So close, yet so far away.

In the world of the passionate pot washer, “washing the pots” really means cleaning the whole kitchen, starting with the pots followed by the sink and ending with a wipe down of all surfaces. You know you’ve done a complete job when someone walks in and goes, “Wow! The kitchen looks amazing! You can come over more often!”

That’s what you’re aiming for.

Hot water

Here comes the science. Hot water cleans pots best because increasing the temperature of fat makes its molecules vibrate fast and loosen their bond. Fat then behaves more like a liquid than a solid, slipping off the pot and into the water. So get the water as hot as you can handle.

👨‍🍳 Pro tip: Running hot taps slowly can sometimes give you hotter water. This happens when, in the case of a combi boiler that heats water on demand, a slower flow gives the water more time to be made hotter before it’s supplied through the tap.

If there’s no hot water either because you live up a mountain or you haven’t figured out how to make your boiler work on your terms, then pre-soak the pots for a while before washing them. An overnight soak even in cold water can loosen pretty much anything enough to remove it.

Regarding the volume of water, you’ll have to make a call based on how many pots there are. As you gain experience, you’ll become a better judge and you’ll be able to clean ever more pots using the same volume of water. Indeed, this is the professional pot washer’s key performance indicator.

Soap

There are three things in life you should never scrimp on: shoes, audio equipment and washing up liquid. If you buy cheap, you’ll have to use twice as much. Simple as.

Add soap to the hot water, not the sponge, or you’ll end up going through it at an alarming rate.

Quality soap is so effective, in fact, that you can easily get away with using a mini solution for most jobs. Keep this mini solution in a separate bottle and save the pure soap for serious sessions.

Scented soaps don’t wash as well as non-scented soaps. I suspect it’s something to do with the fact that the soap molecules have had to make way for scent molecules. So stick with a non-scented market leader.

And don’t forget to wipe the soap bottle clean at the end. It’s little touches like this that distinguish the best from the rest.

Tools

In addition to hot water and quality soap, you’ll need the following tools at your scrubbing station.

Rough and smooth sponge

Skill and error, certainty and surprise, order and chaos: the world is full of dualism. Sponges are no different; there’s a rough side and a smooth side. One’s for tackling hardcore grime; one’s for sweeping aside stubborn oils. To use one without the other is to violate natural law.

Avoid those gimmicky brushes that hold washing up liquid inside them. They’ll use up your soap and your cash in a flash.

Stiff brush

To deal with caked-on crusts, send in the artillery. A good stiff brush will do the heavy lifting with ease and save your sponge from becoming clogged up.

Some people go in for wire brushes but I think they’re an over-engineered solution to a problem that doesn’t exist. We’re not removing rust from an old radiator; it's just caramelised cheese.

Tea towels

Using tea towels to dry pots is for amateurs. It’s effortless (and cheaper as you don’t need to wash your tea towels as often) to let pots air-dry; it only takes a couple of hours. Plus, touching glassware with semi-soiled tea towels only adds blemishes.

Tea towels should be used only for handling hot things, drying clean hands, preventing pots from sliding around on slippery surfaces, and impressing your mother-in-law.

Dress

Avoid whites, remove jewellery, roll-up sleeves and tie long hair back.

Posture

If you get a neck ache, you’re taking too long.

Background music

I find music disruptive when I’m washing up, robbing me of the chance to relax. Podcasts (like Desert Island Discs) are okay, but there’s still no substitute for silence. If you absolutely cannot be alone with your own thoughts, I’ve heard that Billie Holiday provides a solid backing track.

Washing

With pre-soaking done, it’s time for the main event.

Begin using the rough side of the sponge to remove tough dirt. Follow this with the soft side to remove oils.

Put some elbow grease into it. Don’t delude yourself into thinking you’ll do a good job just by turning up, like those people who think they’re getting fit just by owning a gym membership.

If you’ve washed a pot before, then you’ll know the great debate: Should soapsuds be rinsed off with clean water, or not? Those who favour rinsing are not wrong. But I use a method I’ve coined as the wave machine technique which achieves blemish-freeness whilst saving water. Simply shake cleaned pots in the sink water vigorously to throw off soapsuds and lift them out before the suds have a chance to cling on again. Give it a try. It works a treat.

👨‍🍳 Pro tip: Glass cracks when it’s subjected to too great a variation in temperature, like when you only submerge half of it. To avoid cracking your glassware, submerge it quickly and completely.

Stacking

Stacking pots is an art. Have you done your 10,000 hours? It’s unlikely, unless you’re the only pot washer in your home and you’ve been doing it for 77 years1. The point is, most of us have a long way to go before we can call ourselves the Da Vinci of the dishes.

The good news is that there’s never a shortage of soiled saucers—and stacking possibilities are infinite!

Two simple rules for stacking well: First, water needs to escape down inclines, so aim for leaning items against things rather than layering them on top of one another. Second, vacuums trap water and prevent drying, so stack glasses, cups and other vessels “on the piss” where air can flow freely inside them. Apart from that, stacking is a blank canvas.

Putting away

If you’re the kind of person who likes people to know when you’ve done a job, then leaving pots out for them to put away is a handy way to ensure that they do.

I believe leaving pots for others to put away betrays a dismissal of the project, a sign that you’re more concerned with one-upmanship than with the magic of the work itself.

Personally, I enjoy putting away. It’s the final act, a sculptor’s flourish—and another opportunity to stand back and admire my handiwork.

Division of labour

In most homes I’ve been to, whoever doesn’t cook washes up. In our house, I tend to do both. If you don’t like washing up and you’re living with someone like me, then consider yourself lucky for life has been kind to you.

Dishwashers

You might think that someone who loves washing pots would scoff at dishwashers. Nothing could be further from the truth. A seasoned pro knows that since there will always be items that can’t fit inside a dishwasher, there will always be pots to wash by hand. A pro takes pleasure in knowing he or she supplements the limitations of the dishwasher.

And a dishwasher can, after all, make light work of a heavy task. Dishwashers clean pots very well every time (provided you feed them salt and rinse aid). Far from seeing them as a cop out, serious students of the soapsuds respect the dishwasher’s quality output.

Are you a serious student of the soapsuds?

Once you’ve finished washing the pots, do you find your satisfaction is quickly overshadowed by the thought that, soon, there’ll be more pots to wash? If so, I’m afraid we are not kindred spirits and you will not find this treatise helpful.

Only true sultans of scrubbing welcome and cherish the unending call to action of dirty dishes.

TL;DR: Pot-washing perfection in 8 steps

Clear the sink and drying area and give it a wipe first. This is your last chance to ensure that every area of the kitchen is clean at the end.
Scrape thick food waste into the bin. Use kitchen roll to mop up oils, gravies and sauces so they don’t spoil the water.
Get everything in position—dirty pots on one side, space for clean ones on the other. Do a final sweep of all your home’s nooks and crannies. To clean-dish devotees like me, there aren’t many things more maddening than discovering a rogue cup hidden behind a curtain after I’ve finished.
Prepare hot, soapy water and assemble your tools.
Drop-in cutlery first; you’ll end with this, but be careful of sharp knives hidden at the bottom. Wash big and heavy items first, then move to smaller, lightweight ones.
Stack intelligently. Aim for leaning rather than layering.
Clean the rest of the kitchen.
Return to put away the dried pots and you’re done.

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Thank you Becky at Beck At It, Lavinia at

Lavinia’s Substack

and Baxter at

Strong Convictions, Loosely Held 🦖

for reading drafts of this.

Assuming you spend 30 minutes a day washing pots, five days a week, it would take 4,000 weeks (76.9 years) to hit 10,000 hours.