Getting better at the wrong thing
scares the sh*t out of me
Hey folks
MY FRIEND JAMES has a son who was getting ready to go to college, and James was thinking about which college to send him to. One of the best colleges in the UK is Eton, which you’ve probably heard of. James couldn’t afford to send his son to Eton, but he did want to learn about their teaching philosophy, so he asked the headmaster if he could have an hour to interview him, and surprisingly, the headmaster said yes.
During the interview, James asked the headmaster what surprised him most when he took up the job. The headmaster said he went to a rugby match where Eton were playing another school, and he noticed that there were hardly any students there to cheer on the team. He thought, “This isn’t right; we need more support for these lads” and he decided to give a talk about it next time he was in front of the school.
But a few days later, he went to the chapel and noticed a string quartet with students performing. Then he passed by the library and saw a stamp-collectors’ meeting. Next day, he found the drama society practicing in the theatre. That’s when he realised the students weren’t at the rugby game because they were all busy taking part in their own activities. They weren’t spectators; they were participants. He decided not to give that talk after all.
James asked him, “What’s the most important thing for you to do as headmaster?” The headmaster said that before each boy graduates, he gets one hour with them and his main concern is making sure they all have at least one passion—one thing they’re really excited about. It doesn’t matter whether it’s dance or Dendrochronology; the key is that each boy has an awareness of what he likes and the support to pursue it.
I’ve seen a lot of reverse snobbery over the years about private schooling. So this story struck me hard because it shows that, behind all of the politics and flaws in education, there is a valuable principle at work. Some say education is in crisis. I’m not here to weigh in on that, but I do think there’s something important at the heart of Eton’s philosophy: that every person is supported in finding what they’re interested in—and in pursuing it.
If we weren’t lucky enough to go to Eton or another school that has that kind of culture and that level of resources, how can we reclaim that right and that personal power for ourselves now? How can we create the time and space needed for a project of our own? How can we develop a sharper sense of what truly interests us?
These questions matter to me, and I wanted to share this story with you in case it sparks any thoughts or feelings. If you’re reading this and you wanna chat in confidence and bounce a few ideas around about a project that’s calling you—real or imagined—then send me an email, I’d honestly love to do that. It’s the right thing for me to be getting better at.
—Harrison 🙋♂️
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Thank you John for reading drafts of this.
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My fear
IT IS FEAR that's stopping me from becoming a better writer. Fear of saying something that will make me disliked.
This is a great story, following the curiosity is something we should be doing at all ages.
People often have preconceived ideas about these kind of schools but I’ve worked with a few people from Eton and they’re interesting thinkers. I do wonder where we could get to if we subbed out the ‘us and them’ mentality, replacing it with lessons from all sides.
Off to learn about dendrochronology.
Getting better at the wrong thing! i love that idea, or we might be confused about what's right and what's wrong for us. When I think I am pretty good at X, but there could be something just around the corner that I don't aware that I could be great at. If we are out exploring our talents and passions, how should be narrow it down and find our focus?