Decoding Trust
If you’ve chosen to be a working traveller, chances are you’re after more than just sun, sea, sand, and sangrias.
If you’re anything like us, you want to get under the skin of a place. You want travel to teach you. Change you. Help you make a breakthrough. It’s as much about going on an internal journey as it is an external one.
If you’re not hanging out with locals, then you could end up being the person who’s been everywhere but learned nothing. There’s a risk of having a nomadic lifestyle that feels like lockdown with better scenery, and experiencing the creeping feelings of isolation and withdrawal.
That’s what happened to us. Even though we were surrounded by beauty, novelty and what felt like endless possibilities – even though we were on the road together as a couple! – we got lonely quite quickly. It only took about eight weeks.
One thing we tried first to alleviate the loneliness was organising regular Juntos. Juntos are essentially meetings involving around twelve people where you discuss a set of values and their impact on your lives. They’re a good vehicle for staying in touch with friends and colleagues back home in a structured and purposeful way.
Juntos helped. But once we’d closed our laptops and stepped outside our front door in Seville or Santo Domingo or Mexico City, the same feelings of alienation came back – often more potent than before.
It didn’t take us much longer to figure out it was because we weren’t talking to the local people in the places we were living. Because we were working during the day Monday to Friday, we were going out for dinner at night, and it was only really the weekends where we had time to go and “experience” the place. And because every destination has its popular bundle of obligatory eats, drinks, and dos, we felt we had to go and do those things at the weekend, come rain or shine.
But honestly? After a few weeks of wining and dining in places we found on Culture Trip or Reddit or Nomadlist, or any of the blogs that came up when we searched, “Best [X] in [city]”, it felt like an experience that we could have been having anywhere.
Despite our best intentions, none of these efforts put us in touch with local people – and it began to ruin what should be an amazing experience.
Bridging the Gap with Locals through Projects
We found that one of the most effective ways to build relationships with locals and alleviate loneliness altogether was by structuring our interactions around a project.
Projects gave us new knowledge about the people and places we were visiting, and this made our time on the road richer and more immersive.
But when we looked even closer, we found that what really made this project-based approach successful was that it satisfied each element in what’s known in psychology circles as the Trust Equation.
Connection is not possible without trust, and in this essay we’re going to look at how we unknowingly leveraged the Trust Equation to earn trust quickly and build meaningful relationships with locals that made life on the road a source of true connection and growth.
By the end of this post, you’ll have a practical framework for earning the trust of local people (or anyone, for that matter) and some inspiration for getting started on a project of your own.
The Trust Equation: A Framework for Building Relationships
The Trust Equation was developed in 2009 by Charles H. Green and Andrea P. Howe to analyse and measure trustworthiness in professional relationships.
The Trust Equation says that:
Trustworthiness = (Credibility + Reliability + Intimacy) / Self-orientation
Put simply, you can earn peoples’ trust by being credible, reliable and intimate with them, but you undermine those qualities the more self-interested you are.
Alternatively, when you orient yourself towards others by showing genuine interest in their lives, then you have a superpower that helps you forge strong and enduring relationships anywhere you go.
Applying the Trust Equation: Co-authored Guidebooks
Being keen writers, we involved local people in writing-based projects; specifically, co-authored guidebooks.
By positioning ourselves as writers, the locals understood what we did (credibility), we got to show up on time and do what we said we’d do (reliability), and we were able to show our ignorance and vulnerability by asking them tons of questions (intimacy).
And of course, since the project was about their lives and their perspectives, we were ensuring full orientation towards them from the start.
When all of these stars were aligned, we found it was practically impossible for new relationships not to flourish.
So let’s take a look at how we can approach each element of the Trust Equation so we can build trust with locals, develop new friendships, and stave off those horrible feelings of loneliness and isolation on the road.
Establishing Credibility: The First Step Towards Connection
There are many ways we can establish credibility with local people. For example, we could consider foregrounding things like our:
Memberships in professional associations, industry organisations, or renowned networks that validate our professional standing
Notable achievements, such as awards, published works, successful projects, or significant milestones in our career or travels
Relevant degrees, diplomas, or certifications from reputable institutions that show our expertise and commitment to continuous learning
The way we did it was by highlighting the art schools where we studied (Central Saint Martins and the Royal College of Art in London), and sharing samples of our previous travel writing from Instagram and Substack.
Even something as simple as being introduced to local people by a friend gave us extra credibility.
When it comes to your own travels, think about how you can use your networks, achievements and skills (with humility, of course) to position yourself as someone credible, and you’ll be taking a big step towards building meaningful connections.
Reliability: A Key to Trustworthiness
Being reliable simply means we can be counted on to follow through and meet expectations. To do that, we could:
Show up consistently and punctually in our interactions, meetings, and commitments
Practise effective communication by being clear, transparent, concise, and speaking slowly (and smiling a lot!)
Keep local people informed of progress, changes, or any relevant updates regarding shared projects, collaborations, or commitments
For us, this meant having a simple strategy for introducing local people to our guidebook concept, and doing it in stages so we didn’t overwhelm them.
First, we introduced the idea to them over dinner. Then we followed up with a clear one-pager that outlined the project and invited questions. Finally, we showed up on time to do the interviews, and asked for their input and permission at every step of the way.
By having a credible background and sticking to our word, we can create the conditions for a trusting relationship that can be enhanced further through being intimate.
Fostering Intimacy: The Power of Vulnerability
The final piece of the equation – being intimate – can be one of the hardest because it involves opening ourselves up emotionally and being at risk of judgement or rejection.
But as the American Professor Brené Brown has so eloquently shown, being vulnerable is actually a great ability and strength. Vulnerability sparks meaningful conversations that lead to deeper connections. Think about how we feel when others are vulnerable in front of us. Isn’t it often the most endearing or attractive thing about them? Doesn’t it give us the licence to do the same?
In the end, the rewards of being vulnerable often outweigh the initial discomfort. Here are some ways we could become more intimate with local people:
Invite locals to share a meal, either by cooking together or by trying local cuisine
Reveal aspects of ourselves that are unfinished, unsure, afraid, or confused, and ask locals for advice
Find locals who can serve as our mentors or guides
We were honest with the locals that our guidebook project was untried and may or may not work. But this didn't seem to put them off.
In fact, it strengthened the bond between us, as they appreciated our transparency and genuine approach.
Not just that. We believe it created more of a sense of shared ownership and collaboration in the project itself, fostering an even deeper level of trust and engagement.
The Power of Projects and the Trust Equation
Many of the most experienced travellers understand the important role that projects play in meaningful travel.
Travel writer and podcaster Rolf Potts has shared how his sister, Krintin Van Tassel, involved locals in her goal to eat every type of soup in Moldova (Moldova’s big on soup).
The futurist and traveller Kevin Kelly involved locals in his Taiwanese photography project when he was fresh out of college and trying to get a job with National Geographic.
One of the best things about being a working traveller is that we have the opportunity to try new things. There is infinite scope for starting projects and letting them lead us into situations we wouldn’t normally go.
So have fun with it! Be a little wacky! It doesn’t really matter what the project is.
The important thing is that we involve local people and satisfy the Trust Equation. If we do this, then we’re guaranteed to make new friends in every place we go, and feel a sense of belonging that eats loneliness for breakfast. (And bonus: it’s also the fastest route to an authentic experience of a place).
If you’re already on the road, what missions, themes or projects have you used to connect with people in your host communities? And how do you see the Trust Equation playing into it? Get in touch and let us know, we’d love to hear from you.
Happy travelling!
See you next time.
– Harrison & Corina
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